I have always wondered how manifesting works, is it like wishing? Do you just wish your best life into existence? Can you somehow avert tragedy by wishing it away? Seems too easy doesn’t it? The truth is that you can’t wish things away, and the other truth is that the story you tell yourself becomes your reality. If that is the case, maybe manifesting your life is not about wishing for better, it’s about expecting better and refusing to accept that better can’t happen.
When the days are long and full of frustration, how do you speak to yourself? What does your inner voice say? Even in times of fair-weather, when all seems right with the world, do you whisper sweet tidings to yourself, or do you hear critics and find faults? Does your inner voice whisper that the good can’t last and prepare yourself for darker days? Would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself?
During one of the very darkest times of my life I was speaking to a social worker and the mantra she just kept repeating was “Be kind to yourself” at the time I don’t know if I knew how to do that. I did all of the physical things I could do to take care of myself, I took some extra time to myself, I got a pedicure, I bought a new outfit. All of those things provided momentary distractions, but they didn’t fix anything. The reason they didn’t fix anything was because while I was busy trying to be kind to myself…I was being very unkind in the way I was speaking to myself. The soundtrack inside my head was telling me that I deserved what had happened, that things would always be bad and that I should have been able to do something to prevent the events from playing out as they had.
I can actually pinpoint the moment that I decided to change that voice, I was dropping my daughter off at Kindergarten. We were in the cloak room and she started crying, then I started crying, we both just held onto each other and held space for each other. As a Mother, I wanted so much to be able to say the magic words that could make everything better. In this case I was all out of magic words, so instead I held her until she let go and then I watched her walk into class. As I walked to the car I decided, that I was done feeling powerless. I knew I couldn’t change anything that had happened, but what I could do was take my power back. I decided that in the middle of all the chaos I was going to actively take control of anything I could, starting with the story I was telling myself.
I started really stopping my inner voice and asking myself if any of it was true. Does anyone ever deserve bad things? It’s a constant battle; I fall back all of the time. It’s so easy to fall into self-critic and it’s even easier to accept that dark days are never going to end. It’s hard work shifting your inner voice, to start saying words of self-encouragement. To recognize that you are worthy and can believe that really good things are headed your way.
My biggest self-fulfilling prophecy was that good enough was enough. Which is really, really hard to break, I am working on it every day. I spent years accepting that I didn’t deserve more than enough that somehow accepting abundance would be greedy or would doom me to darker days to come. So now I am focused on accepting an abundance of everything I desire into my life.
How does manifesting really work? Start by changing your inner narrative, instead of “I won’t ever” or “It couldn’t happen”, think when this happens or even set a date. One of my very favourite Mentors once said “Be firm in your directions and soft in your guidance”, what she meant was set the date but be willing to change it if need be.
Now focus on whatever it is that you want to manifest, and come up with a mantra that can help you verbalize your intentions. So my favourite is “I attract abundance to me, abundance is drawn to me, I accept abundance into my life” now use the mantra all the time! While stuck in rush hour traffic, in the washroom, during your yoga practice. Out loud or in your head, just keep saying it whenever you can. We are talking about faking it until you make it here. Say it until you believe it, you can’t cheat, if you do it won’t work.
Keep that inner critic in line! No negative unworthiness crap can be going on here. You are worthy; in fact maybe that is your first mantra. Say it until you believe it; think it every time self-doubt surfaces. Also make certain you are feeling it, you cannot manifest if your thoughts and feelings are at odds with each other.
Now here’s a really hard step….do not think of any reason why your desired outcome cannot happen. Now, this is not about being unrealistic, this is about being willing to fight through all of the barriers to make it happen. Change is constant, so things will always change and they can change either way, however if you are determined that change will always be bad…then you will likely get what you expect. There may be very valid challenges ahead of you, but if you are determined you can overcome a great deal.
Now keep that mantra going, and visualise the future, visualise getting what you want, how does it feel? What does it look like, how will it change your story? Believe it so hard that you feel gratitude for it happening. (If inner doubts sets in go back to your mantra or intention.) You need to believe that you can do this, you can make it happen and when it does happen you can gratefully accept it into your life.
Now here is the hardest part, you have to believe your own power and at the same time release control. WHAT??? Ok so releasing control is not my favourite thing either, but the truth is even though you are powerful and you can manifest your desires, what you can’t do is control how they show up. Leap of faith time here…just like the book says “The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear to Faith” by Gabrielle Bernstein. Too often we let our inner voice guide us into fear, and you can’t, you have to have Faith and let the universe provide.
Faith is hard to sell today; we have educated ourselves past it. We’ve moved past trusting our gut and into analyzing with our head. So maybe this will slow your progress, because in order for you to manifest what you want, you have to have faith that you can do so, and that you really do deserve it and it really will happen. Having faith and opening yourself up to being vulnerable to the outcome is crucial to allowing and accepting that everything really will happen.
So if you can readily have faith that what you want is possible then it’s time to make choices because it is possible. Here is another change that has to happen, you can’t continue of the same path and expect different outcomes, manifesting is not creating new things out of the same patterns. If we believe that we are powerful enough to manifest our desires, then we must also live in alignment with these desires. In order to manifest we must live in alignment with our desires, also easier said than done. We have to now consciously ask ourselves if our choices are in alignment with our desires. This is every choice and option that comes our way. The great thing is that you cannot unknow what you know, so once you know that you can have what you want, then it becomes necessary to live your life and make choices that are in line with that desire. Having said that it really isn’t easier, you will still want to fall back into the comfortable habits and patterns.
Essentially I suppose what it all comes down to is that you can manifest your desires, but its takes passion, persistence and courage. And really what is the alternative, never fully realizing your potential? Well that’s not really an option at all, is it?
~Michiko @Sweet Serenity